My words are a reflection of me.

2010-08-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

फ़ार गोद

"Fear God" is what im getting tatted my 1st tatt (;

2010-08-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

Bitch ass niggas don't get what the deserve most of the time. They do dirt and go about their life just like every other day. What ou bitch ass niggas need to realize is that YOUR A BITCH ! Please start realizing that shit, you think you bad 'cause you aint got hit with karma yet?! trust that shit is comming your way. You do dirt to the wrong females sometimes. I'm not gonna front there are rachett females out there who do dirt too but don't treat the next one fucked up 'cause of the last bitch. Bitch ass niggas smh i have a lot to say but so lil space and time get your shit together and stop tryna play games. Your not as bad ass you think smh, its really sad to see so many hurting females cause of bitch ass niggas. Shit, as females we need to realize he's just a nigga and there are plenty other ones who are willing to do right by us if that one bitch ass nigga wont. SO shit do you and be independent then if a REAL MAN. Comes your way your on YOUR shit & he can't tell you nothing. NEVER SETTLE FOR A BITCH ASS NIGGA AYYEEE.

My bestfriend

2010-07-07T14:46:00.000-07:00

Some may know her as Denisha Monae` Lewis, others may know her as Nisha but for the record this is my bestfriend. We've been friends since the age of 15 we have had many ups and downs but we made it through. Many may say that God put us together for a reason because the many challenges we have faced throughout our lives are quite similar. But who's to say all I know is everything happends for a reason. We have been together for 3years now dealing with skeezas and niggas with their bullshit & now we are growing up and going to two different colleges -__- it wasn't suppose to be this way but BITCHES fucked our shit up. Many people have doubted us throughout the years and they thought we wouldn't graduate or be anything in life but check us out not only did we graduate but we going to college ! ha tell them bitches fuck with us now loc ! ALTHOUGH we won't be seeing eachother everyday I want you to know that... YOUR STILL & WILL AWAYS BE MY BESTFRIEND I'M GOING TO MISS YOU TO THE MAXX BUT YOU KNOW WE WILL STILL FIND TIME TO TURN SHIT UP ! IM ONLY GNNA BE IN LONG BEACH SO IF WE GTTA LAY HANDS ON SOME RACHETTS YOU KNOW IM ONLY A TEXT, AiM, or PHONE CALL AWAY ! YOUR THE REALEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD BONNIE & CONNIE ANYONE?! LMFAO well idk what else to say you know I love you big booty rachett ass ! lol be good and be successful at SMC ! Tear shit up for me since I won't be there and I'll do the same on the H52010D :-* LOL imma be around ALWAYS NOW THERE'S NO GETTING RID OF ME (: & good luck with you and your new BABY DADDY CUH ! this isnt goodbye this is just see you around skeez !!! NISHA & KILOW ayyeeeeeee !

My babies

2010-03-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

Funny Shit !

2010-03-16T21:00:00.001-07:00

2010-03-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

It's MY anniversary !

Ha, I love Rashaad Tareeq Gavin !

I woke up this morning feeling like it was my damn birthdayy !

-091609, 6months STRONG & we're still on a roll :-*

2010-03-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

2010-03-03T19:44:00.001-08:00

Higher than this lyrics

2010-03-01T17:48:00.000-08:00

Listen
Light that reflects in the mirror
Showing the essence of who I am
Made from pure perfection
I’m connected to the ONE therefore I AM
One to rise above all the ugliness
Evolve into a world of selflessness
I can see love and no love
can be higher than this
What can be higher than this
What can be higher than this
What can be higher than this
What can be higher than this
You will find love and no love
can be Higher than this
Feeling like everything going wrong
Take a step back and edit yourself
There’s a hero in you waitin’ to happen
Make the choice to take a chance
and save yourself
You gotta let go of your insecurity
Explore the passion in your possibilities
You will find love and no love
can be higher than this
What can be Higher than this
Love! Can’t nobody love me like you do
So I gotta tell the world that
You are in everything that I do
Love Ah
Can’t nobody love me like you do
There’s no love more higher than this
What can be higher than this
Uh Uh Higher Than This
I need someone to tell me
’cause I don’t see nothing else more
Uh Uh Uh Uh Higher than this
Don’t Nobody know the love that
I feel right now
What can be higher than this
There’s no love more higher than this
What can be higher than this
You will find Love
See all you got to do is just let HIM in
You will find Love
Anything you dream of is gonna to happen
You will find Love
Just let it go
There’s no love more higher than this
What can be higher than this
Ah can’t nobody love me like you do
So I gotta tell the world that
You are in everything that I do
Love Ah
Can’t nobody love me like you do
There’s no love more higher than this
What can be higher than this
What can be higher than this

2010-03-01T17:36:00.000-08:00

2010-03-01T16:27:00.000-08:00

Some things are better left UNSAID but this just has to be said.
The fact that you kiss ass doesn't get you anywhere in this life, you'll always be looked down upon as an ASS KISSER ! You may not be aware that your an ass kisser but you are and you settle for less which is quite sad. Sometimes I find myself amazed of how people live their lives but who am I to JUDGE someone?! I'm not judging you I'm trying to help my fellow females out. I think we all should have HIGH ASS STANDARDS for the dudes we talk to. & Keep them up there never lower your standards for a nigga pfftt if he's not down with what you want and isn't willing to change what does that leave you to think?!... Uhh Drop That Nigga !!! Oh yeah & you don't have to open your legs to every damn nigga you think is bomb or just 'cause he tells you he loves you oops did I let that slip?! Hmm, it might just be he said that to get his nut off ?! Oops did I let that slip?... I need not say more have more self respect and people will respect you more. Read a book and widen your vocabulary and enhance your writing skills (:
The world would be a much better place if a lot of our females had enough self respect to realize their getting PLAYED & MOVE ON & leave your past behind you. Don't let something of your past reflect how you are now. 'Cause its quite sad and irritating to see ignorant ass bitches around these days. Oops I let that slip too...

2010-02-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

I thank the God above everyday for the blessings he sends me. These past 5months have been filled with ups and downs but mostly ups just because of the simple fact that God sent someone special my way. I mean the thought always lingers in my mind what if it doesn't last forever because I'm only human & my past won't let me be at times, but then I realize he is diffrent from the rest he is my best, & then I know that God wouldn't have had me wait this long to be in a relationship for it not to last right?! Although it is a possibility this is not what I'm focusing on I trust him with my heart and I know it's safe with him. Well I can truely say I'm in love and I don't want a thing to change. The only thig that I would approve of if it came along was us getting even closer then we are. You see I'm not your average 17 year old I always say this but I have been through a lot but you know I've learned to accept the hard times that I have expirienced they have made me into a stronger person. Him being apart of my life just makes me feel like I'm on cloud 9, 24/7 yeah don't get me wrong we have our downfalls but we're grown enough to get through them. I can not begin to describe the vibe that I feel when I'm around him, He makes me realize that all my other relationships were shaping me just for him. We fit hand in hand and I can say I love him with my whole heart. Hold on let me start to tell you how wonderful he is ... He takes me as I am flaws and all. He's my bestfriend the one that I can depend on my heart and soul need I say more?! I wouldn't trade what we have for anything in this world he is my strong hold. Love may just be a four letter word to some but to me its deeper than that, Love is when your at your lowest and just to see that person smile will make everything worth while you see its deeper then the ocean itself, when you find someone that you love as much as they love you hold on to them and never let them go. This is how I feel after I have allowed my heart to heal,Oh did I let that slip?! His name how silly of me to not let you know who my blessing is his name is Rashaad Tareeq Gavin need I say more I think not that's my babe my true angel from above. I thank the God above everyday for the blessings he sends me.

In love with this song (:

2010-02-28T19:53:00.001-08:00

2010-02-22T18:13:00.000-08:00

I wish that people could just read my facial expressions a little bit better and realize that I don't want to be bothered. If everyone I don't like would get the hint and fuck off the world would be a much better place. People live in their ignorance like it's something to be proud of, I see nothing to be proud of if your an ignorant ass bitch ! you need to shut the fuck up and read a book. Honestly I find myself having better conversations with people who are older then me or someone who thinks just like me. & they're aren't too many people like that in this world hmmm maybe thats a sign... a sign that I fcking hate people !

Christmas break was greaatt

2010-01-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

This christmas break was the best of them all, hands down I have so much to be thankful for. Even though it was a good time something had to go wrong... R.I.P to my cousin Sharon was truely a blessing to my life and she makes me strive to be better. With that being said everyone should really appreciate the loved ones that they have.

The best song ever !

2010-01-04T16:23:00.001-08:00

2009-12-17T18:36:00.000-08:00

I don't know why But for some reason I am too excited for chritsmas break ! I always get excited but for some STRANGE reason I am extra excited this year :) I just fell like HELLA good vibes Maybe 'cause this christmas break I'm a senior lol & I'm soo close to being on my own soon ? mmmmm <3>I hope everyone gets all that they want :) & I hope I get all I want as well !

2009-12-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is nor do I care to understand why but there are quite a few people in this world that irritate the fuck out of me ! Just about everyday atleast one person pisses me the fuck off. Its merely the simple fact that people are stupid, ignorant, & childish. I have no time for any of those traits it's sad that there are so many people who carry all 3 traits !! I'm a real chill person & I try not to sweat the little things but wow people really need to grow the fuck up if I could some how erase people out of my life I would do it in a heat beat no questions asked.

Happy birthday to my granny !

2009-12-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to the number 1 woman in my life my granny, I don't know where to begin she means the world to me she is my heart and soul. This poem may not ryhme but its so worth my time there are not too many people in this world who have close connections with their granmothers but I can truely say that I am blessed to have a relationship with mine. Yeah she is truely one of a kind I don't think anyone compares to the love I have for her. Yeah, I may not be the best grand daughter at times but hey I try. I love her to the point where it can't even be understood, everything that I say might feel redundant because I don't know how else to express myself, she honestly leaves me speechless, she is just the most giving person I know. Honestly if it wasn't for my granny I don't know where I would be she has a heart of gold, she is not only beautiful on the outside but beautiful on the inside. I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world I may not show it as often as I can, but I REALLY do love her. She is the biggest part of my life and I live not only to make myself proud but to make her proud and just to make her smile. Every chance that I get I thank the God above for her 'cause I don't think I would be the young lady that I am now without her shaping me into one. When it's all said and done my granny is my heart and soul my pride and joy !
-Happy Birthday Boo thang I love you :)

1 of my favorite artist and songs :)

2009-12-08T18:50:00.000-08:00

2009-12-02T20:15:00.000-08:00

Woahhh, I haven't been on this blog in a while !
I have missed it I must admit quite a few things have happend in this life of mine some for good & some for bad. Thanksgiving was great I ate my life away it waas worth while it just feels good being around my family just mkes me all warm inside & now that christmas is comming its 10 times better :)

2009-11-09T19:08:00.000-08:00

Mmmm, I just realized that there is not one day that I have a perfect day !
Like something always goes wrong I'll have and amazing day & something our of the ordinary will happen just to bring me down =\ & I freaking hate that. & I don't think I'll ever understand why this happens to me or if there is some sort of reason behind me getting hurt? is it amussing in some sort of way? I really will never know & that's the sad part.

Trey Songz; YUMMMMM <3

2009-10-27T21:38:00.001-07:00

Ready

Bitch !

2009-10-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Evidentally that's what I am?!
Random boy add's me on facebook I thought he was someone I knew so I sent him a message to find out. Then the fool facebook IM's me like no you don't know me so I said ok ! But he had to take it a step further. He says no I don't know you and I don't want to so I said wait hold up I'm not one to bang over facebook but don't get live nobody said a damn thing about getting to know achther there was no point in comming foul so just delete me offa facebook. This fool says bye bitch ! wow and what was the point of that what a come back kid !

I May Never :)

2009-10-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

I enjoy you I never wanna see you leave boy, you've made my life so complete. I dont wnna move too fast no, 'cause your too special ! I really love the way you make me feel inside. You wonder why my spirit is so happy? Hey, you touch my heart every part whenever you speak to me. I love what we have going on. I may never find another like you for me. I have no worries once I step into your presence you have a way of helping me see that everything is okay babe. What else can I say? I really love the way you make me feel inside.

2009-10-20T21:33:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, as I sit here and think about everything that I want to say is like scrambled up in my mind. I just feel like I need to pour my whole heart and soul out to someone for some strange reason and anyone who knows me knows that's not something that I'd do !
Maybe its just one of them dayssss =

2009-10-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been on here in forever literally !

Soooo much has happend mmmm just too much to write on this blog.

I've let a lot of baggage that was holding me back and just wouldn't let me be.

As each day goes by I'm trying harder and harder to strive to better then the rest, No I'm not cocky I just want to beat the odds. I have many people doubting me and everything that I am and what I want to be but I'm gnna prove them wrong. I haven't seen my freaking bestfriend Mariah and I saw her Saturday (: Freaking made my weekend, We live up the street from eachother and we barely see eachother. But she's moving further away lowkey so maybe I'll see her more ahahah !

Thats Just how it goesssss !

Well my boyfriend is pretty amazing.

School is pretty cooool I'm just looking forward to graduating class of 2010 anyone?

2009-09-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

091609 :-*

Nuff Said I BANG that shit like its my hood or something.

Rashaad Tareeq Gavin; mhmh yeah that's my boyfriend baby !

& He's pretty amazing if I may say so myself.

2009-09-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

Soo, my computer is down & I can only use my aunt's labtop every now & again which sucks

-__-

But ayyee I'll get over it ahhaha.

It's my senior year babbyyyy, this year is gnna be chill I hope I just kinda keep to myself to avoid any extra shit I don't need.

A.P. English is cool so far, I know its no joke though.

Besides school I'm trying to stay strong for my family, I'm praying my mae mae makes it through !

No one knows the half of what I go through.

Just keep me in prayer all you can do really.

2009-09-02T18:41:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to meee !

EST. 09/02/92

2009-08-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

FML; Easy as that.
I'M NOT ONE TO GIVE UP; but this shit shoot it has me on edge and I'M DONE !
FML; Easy as that.

2009-08-27T14:23:00.001-07:00

[verse 1:]
I'm a lady that comes with no chances
That means if I spot a sign of trouble your gone
To many times before, seemed I always played the fool
How was I to know, I was young and Gullible
I let the guys play my heart as if it was a toy
I got respect for me, now is a new day

[Pre-chorus:]
Im gonna let you play the games on me
Because I got a better strategy
And if you ever cause depression whoa,
Then you'sa gotta go, go , go

[Chorus:]
I'ma fight the tears so my make-up, don't mess up
And I'ma fight the feelings i be wantin to call you
And I'ma fight you back, if you ever step to me,
Closin up the doors
Made it clear before,
Do me wrong, you go
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)

[Verse 2:]
Don't get me wrong i don't hate men,
I love 'em, but i just think that some should stop their problems
Some are confusers, users, abusers,
Some are just plain 'ol losers
Boy your silly games won't get away with me
I'm not the foolish girly that I used to be
Chuck it out the window, just like that
If your head is 'posed to be where it's at
R.E.S.P.E.C.T
Respect, i suggest you find out what it means

[Chorus:]
I'ma fight the tears so my make-up, don't mess up
And I'ma fight the feelings i be wantin to call you
And I'ma fight you back, if you ever step to me,
Closin up the doors
Made it clear before,
Do me wrong, you go
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)

[Bridge:]
I am disappointed 'bout the way you treaten me
You're just another boot from the river
I'll find a better lover
Theres fishes in the sea
I'll keep on tryin yes, 'cause I'm a fighter yo
I got your number already, I'm a fighter yo
No need to cry no more, already felt this before
I'm a fighter and I aint 'gon take you back fo'sho

[Chorus:]
I'ma fight the tears so my make-up, don't mess up
And I'ma fight the feelings i be wantin to call you
And I'ma fight you back, if you ever step to me,
Closin up the doors
Made it clear before,
Do me wrong, you go
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)
'Cause I'm a fighter (whoa)

I'll keep on tryin yes, 'cause I'm a fighter yo
I got your number already, I'm a fighter yo
No need to cry no more, already felt this before
I'm a fighter and I aint 'gon take you back fo'sho
[x2]

'Cause I'm a fighter
'Cause I'm a fighter

2009-08-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

"Boys are like buses miss one, next 15 one commin'."

2009-08-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

"I'm alot of things but I'm not a quiter."

2009-08-12T18:14:00.001-07:00

Im a Fighter - Aaradhna

2009-08-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

& This Is Exactly How I Feel At This Point In My Life. I'm Worth So Much More Then The Way He Fcking Treats Me. I'm Sad It Took His Ass For Me To Realize My Worth, But I'm Happier It's Sooner Then Later.

-__-

2009-08-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

This picture says sooo much; and means soo much I would have to say I'm truely ब्लेस्सेद (Blessed)

2009-08-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

So this Ana (left) & Melly (right), These are my girls right here ! I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH !
Through my down times my junior year they have stuck by my side they've even seen me cry ! They are two amazing people that anyone should be proud to have in their lives & I thank God that he sent them to be in my life. They keep me sain ahahah I'd probably slap a whole bunch pf bitches if it wasn't for them. They are two people that I love and trust very much & I had to share that w/ the world.

Today at SUMMER school.

2009-08-11T16:55:00.000-07:00

Fat Mexican Girl: "Fck you Robert your a bitch, Your not gnna do shit."
Fat Mexican Boy: Walks off all agry hot and bothered & kicks the trash can.
Keia: Grrrr
Me & My friends: Ahaaha, he think he bad cause he kicked a trash can !

Oh Geez, Random Yet funny.

2009-08-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm only 16years old but I've been through more then most. I don't comeplain or well atleast I try not to. I love my family to death, nomatter how much they may irritate me there all I have. I have two bestfriends who are always there for me. Mariah & TJ, I consider them to be family because iLove them that much and there always around me and know so much about me. I've come to realize I'm worth soo much. I've always been worth alot but I didn't know how to condone myself w/ self respect & found myself continously getting hurt. But now I know I am a queen & I should respect myself on that level and if anyone wants to be in my life they need to respect me and my values. I have soooo many goals I want to achieve I want to be more then what everyone is expecting me to be. They're expecting me to fail ! But I bet to differ I'm not gna fail & I'm gnna be somebody and make my granny proud. Every word that I write reflects me & the type of person I am. These words that I write flow through my vains onto this blog as I pour my heart out I just hope it helps someone in some way. I'm only 16 years old but I've been through more then most.

2009-08-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

&` life is tOO short to wake up in the morningg w regrets. so love the people who treat you right , forgive the ones who didn't , and believe that everyyThing happens for a reason. if you get a chance , TAKE iT. if it changes your life , LET iT. NOBODY said that it would be EASY, they just promised it would be worth it.

2009-08-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

I'm doin' just fine
Getting along very well
Without you in my life
I don't need you in my life
I'm doin' just fine
Time made me stronger
You're no longer on my mind

2009-08-04T20:25:00.001-07:00

Doing Just Fine - Boyz II Men

2009-08-04T20:20:00.001-07:00

Water Runs Dry - Boys II Men

This is an AMAZING song

2009-08-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

"I wish that I could take a journey through your mind and findthe emotions you always try to hide. . . " - Joe

Its a new daaaayyyy !

2009-07-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

Soooo everything is going pretty good !
Taking senior portraits and stuff tomorrow.
Getting all dolled up today for that. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
2010 babbbyyyyyyyy

2009-07-27T17:34:00.001-07:00

GOT MY MIDTERM GRADES FOR SUMMER SCHOOL.

Life Skills = A
Health= A+

The one person I want to care about me and my accomplishments didn't say a damn thing.

2009-07-27T17:07:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty much on my own in this cold cruel world...
Sad to say but its true when things go wrong I really have no one but myself, All everyone does is says its gnna be ok when I know damn well I'm stuck in a fcked up situation. If I died right now it wouldn't even matter that's how I kno I'm on my own in this cold cruel world. I'm tired of ppl fcking saying they have a fcked up life when the shit there going through doesn't even compare to what I'm going through or what I've been through. Yeah I know there are people out there who are suffering more then me, the muhfckas complaining aint going through a damn thing. Bitch, I'm not even taking senior portraits suck on that shit !!! That's one important memory I'm not getting not loved by too many but fck it because when I die I die alone in the cold cruel world.

-Fck My Life
PRETTY MUCH >:O

Its all on me now -_-

2009-07-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

Worst thing I heard all summer was my granny telling me ...
"Ki do your best in everything you do, if you have friends advising you to do bad don't listen to them just drop em'. Because I want you to make me along w/ the family proud and you might have to end up taking care of your brothers and Kailah I'm not feeling well I can die anydayy now. I feel horrible so please stay on the right road babes."
Do you know how bad it hurts to fcking bad it hurts to hear your grandmother talking about dying?! She's my EVERYTHING she's all I have. She's been there since day 1. When no one else gave a flying fck about KIA TORNELL JACKSON she did, Its even hard for me to sit here and right this blog, tears keep falling down my face, it hurts that bad ! Yeah I know I have others who care about me but they will never top her love for me. I don't say iLOVE you too much because I gave up on "LOVE" a long time ago but my granny lets me know theres hope. I;'m gna stop for now because this is hurting me wayy too much.

-Bye :'(

2009-07-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

"Say what you heard so you can see what you said."

2009-07-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

If You've Ever Thought You Had A fcked Up Life, Think Twice Take A Walk In My Shoes For A Day. Shit, Take A Day Like Today For Example WORST FCKING DAY OF MY LIFE ! Shit One Person That I Know That Might Have it BAAD Is My Bestfriend Mariah. Shit Always Goes Wrong For Us It's A Nvr Ending Story ! Literally To The Point Evrything Fcking Hurts ! It's Impossible For Me To Hide My Feelings These Days !
Why Can't Things Just Get Better?!
WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID I'M READY TO TURN MY LIFE OVER TO GOD FOR GOOD AND HAVE NO REGRETS ABOUT IT ! I'M TIRED OF ALL THE NONSENSE ! :'(

2009-07-19T16:43:00.001-07:00

2009-07-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

Oh man, the intensity of this poem is crazy !

2009-07-19T16:17:00.001-07:00

2009-07-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

Living this thing called life the BEST way I can. Yes I know I have flaws and all but doesn't everyone?! A continous cycle of pain,heartache,regret, and so much spinning around me trying to keep me down. But there's more important things in my life I need to worry about instead of being sad and letting the negatives keep me down. My Niece, & My two little cousins are comming up in a life that just might be hard just like mine. Having to be raised by someone that's not your mother but its your loving grandmother. I will not let them think that they are any less then anyone else on this fkced up earth because of what they have been through. They are just as capable as anyone else ! They are my HEROS I'd do ANYTHING for them if I had to no questions asked no second thoughts. I tell them live this thing called life the BEST way you can, and you'll end up on top ! Yeah you may have flaws BUT doesn't everyone?! & That's what makes you and individual.

2009-07-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

I now Love the things I NEED to Love, and let go of the things I wanted to Love.

2009-07-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

Mmm, I see as I'm maturing I have zero patience and zero tolerence for people and their nonsense and I find Myself distancing myself from more and more people each day, but in my heart im perfectly fine w/ that. Because if their not willing to support ME I DON'T NEED THEM ! :)

Latif - I don't want to hurt you [BEST SONG OF MY LIFE]

2009-07-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

I Dont Want To Hurt You - Latif

LA.

2009-07-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

Dear, LA how I miss you !
So I spent my 1st two weeks of summer break in LA ! Man Oh Man ! Pleassee take me back ! I fcking hate living in the Valley let alone being in Sylmar ! First of all, these grown ass freaking dirty ass men whistle at Me and Ryah and Saida anytime we walk anywhere ! AND + there's nothing to do in SYLMAR ! While in LA I spent alot of time w/ my sisters and my niece ! I enjoyed that ! This Summer has been GREAT & HORRIBLE ! all at the same time. But I'm getting through it I'm A fighter I'll get through it with my Bestfriends Mariah & TJ, & My sisters Keira & Brianna ! I have my down times with both my sisters but hey we work through em' that's whaat there for to fight and make up ahah ! I'm going to make the best of the rest of this summer 2009 ! more beach time and my trips ! VEGAS POPP`N on Aug 14th back to LA then off to VEGAS ! Yeeaahhhhh baayyybbeeeee ;) mhmhm maybe a boyfriend this summer or spark up some old flames?! who knows jut gnna make the best of it ! September 2nd ! MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ! I can't waitttt ! I don't know what I'm doing anymore -_- But hopefully I will think of something in due time ! Welll I'm done for now ;) Byeeeeeeeeeee

2009-07-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

Ayyyeeee, Mayynnnee Summa Time POPP`N W/ Ki` & Ash` !

So Were Sitting Here Post'd Having All Types Of Fun Ash` Came To My House It Cheered Me Up, Because This Had To Be One Rough Week ! Fcking Lost The Love Of My Life ! But It's OK Everything Happens For A Reason RIGHT?!

Ohhh YEAHHH Ash` Can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice !

Even though we bang two different hoods ! I'm On That Criiiipppp shittt cuhkz !

Yadada Boogiiiee?! Whaat that shit doooo ! Lol

Buttttt, On A Whole Different Note iLOVE This ChicC Right Here; My Ace Boon Coon ! Ahahaha We Cuss Out Bitches In Elevators & We Pull All The Major BADDIES ! Get Like Us -Outttrrroooo

*`Oh Yeah My BFF'S are Wayy Better Then Everyone Else's :)

Yoooooo Yooooo Yooooo, ASHTASTIC* on the track (;

Anyways, ha im at Kialicious' house, and i spent the night for like 2 days now going on 3, like what that shit do ? bloooooooooooooood, sooowoooop :]

This chick is theee BESTEST ever, always getting the bomb asss niggers, and shit.

The fuuuckkk ? . I love her oh so much , she makes me laugh & shit, and she always has my back ,like damnnnn. We only fight bitches in the elevator , say what ?

" yeaaah babeee " Lol, " Meet me in the ELEVATOR , Bitchhhh. " " drop me off & pick me up and 1O minutes, like ayyeeee " " You thought i couldnt free style on you, BOOO. You owe everybody on the train an apology for your shit, hoe(; "

Okayokay, welll im out this biaaaaatccccchhhh blooood,

The fade aint nuthinnnn but a haircut :D

Summa Time Just Getting Started :)

2009-06-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

2009-06-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

"Willing to stay with me through it all. Even if I fall. Through sruggle and tragedies, she's the one I can call. She will be the one who's equal to the basket and the ball. Movies, Beach, the basketball court, we can do it all. Cooking, Cleaning, then sex, she can can get it from me. Through High School, From College, to the NBA, by my side is where she'll be."

Ha, Vallan's [AWAY] message on AIM for me.
Made me fkcing smile !

Love?! Again?

2009-06-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

He's been in my life since JANUARY OF 2OO9.

Not my main squeeze as of now but he swears up and down we are!

Love him?

Yes, I think I've gotton to that point.

Scared?

Oh Yesss! Don't wnna get hurt again.

But I think it's ok to open up my [HEART] again to Mr. Gavilan (;

Done for now.

Gnna see him this week be back with updates (;

2009-05-19T15:10:00.000-07:00

READY TO FCKING KILL THIS BITCH!
I swear I'm tired of this shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My L O V E S

2009-05-17T19:41:00.000-07:00

When All Else Fails They Make Me S M I L E :)

2009-05-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

Today had to be the utmost worst day of my life.
I can't believe I fcking cried!
That's just not suppose to happen like seriously!
I'm tired of letting my emotions get the best of me...
I just wish that things would be better I'm quite tired of all the bullshit I'm going through.
When will things get better?!
I'm tired emotionally,physically,and mentally ! School +PLUS all the bullshit that comes along with high school. +PLUS the shit I go through with my family SMFH ! When will things get better?!
I REALLY WISH I had a answer as to why things are soo bad but hey it is what it is.
Gotta go for now...

I can't believe

2009-05-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

I can't believe you really up and walked out of my life w/ no explanation. That's the least you could do I would think. Atleast spare me the humiliation of thinking you actually care about me. I can't believe I thought there would ever be an "US" sadly but truely. But who made it that way YOU did you made me think it was going to be more. But what I failed to realize was it was all apart of the game. I can't believe I played the fool and I got my feelings hurt in the end. I cant believe that were not even friends. And I can sit here and not believe it when all of this is reality that you seem not to realize. But you will sooner or later you won't be able to believe I'm not gonna be there when no one else will. I can't believe how much time and energy I put into you to come out on bottom. But its ok, because what goes around comes around and when it does who's to say Kia is gonna be there... I can't believe.

2009-05-11T16:55:00.000-07:00

Having total control over a situation is realizing that you have no control at all.

2009-04-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

"Sex is apart of nature. I go along with nauture." - Marilyn Monroe

My life.

2009-04-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

In exactly 7weeks things will change MAJORLY! & I believe I'm too ready for that I'll be one step closer to being on my own. There are times when I am scared in a sense to buy my own things and pay bills and all that but I think I can handle it because I already don't depend on people too much. COLLEGE?! Excited much? very hahah I want to get a career started and make everyone proud of me. and prove everyone who doubted me wrong and most of all I want to be proud of myself. Better yet, I hope things work out for the better with me in mind but all I can do is have faith in God and look forward to the best things. My life is in his hands and I love it that way :)

Unsaid

2009-04-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

Some things are better yet left unsaid;

I believe this to a certain point because alot of drama, heartache, and bullshit can be prevented when you just leave somethings inside and keep them to yourself. Then on the other hand some things need to be put out there so you don't get hurt in the long run. I have alot of bottled up emotions inside of me and I choose to let some out and to keep some inside of me but either way at the end of the day I want to make sure that I am HAPPY with myself.

Random Issshhh.

2009-04-21T18:04:00.001-07:00

Woooo, its been quite sometime since I've blogged. Oh how I missed it I have alot of mixxed emotions going on right now. 1st of all its hot as heck outside like its soo hot it doesn't even make any sense. Uhum, does it suck that I think I'm madly in love w/ him?! the one who hurts me most at the end of the day... I want him to be out of my life then yet I feel as though I still need him w/ me. Wait not need him but want him I rather say. I want to give up on love and just say fck everything but a part of me is still holding on to everything that I've been ever expirienced.

But the good part is I'm not dwelling on it I've learned to let go and let God and this too shall pass. Through all my dark nights and stormy days things will change w/ Faith :)

Secret LIfe Of Bees

2009-03-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

Whooaa, "Secret Life Of Bees" = Great Movie. I would have to say one of my fav's almost made me cry. Brought a lot of stuff to the light that was hiding in the darkness. I've come realize that there are better things in this life for me. And I shouldn't let the little things get me down. Everything happens for a reason and God will always send a brighter day my way. Its somewhat odd it took a movie for me to realize this but hey atleast i now know. I'm not worrying about anyone or anything life is too short to dwell on mistakes. Yes, I've made a ton and I'm sorry. But I'm human, I don't need a boyfriend and my "BOY" will come in due time. So all the "Jibba Jabba" about "Ohh, babe I love you" Or "Kia, you mean the world to me" SAVE IT! Because I'm the farthest thing from dumb and I know its all apart of this game. And I'm not in it to lose, take it how you want to I'm not trying to be mean I'm being realistic.

2009-03-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

Tell me what you know about my love?! I doubt you know anything about my love its better then all the rest because I'm the type to give you my best. Tell me what you know about my love?! Would you like me to explain, I believe its no need. See your quick to say I love you to me but tell me what you know about my love?! I'm willing to go above and beyond but I doubt anyone will ever love like I love because you don't know about my love.

2009-03-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

2009-03-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

Mmmm, Its been quite sometime now since I've last blogged.

Not too much has been going on for me to write about. Well I take that back some stuff has been going on but NOT worthy enough to be posted on my precious blogspot.

W/ that being said I'm gonna leave w/ this quote I read in a book.

"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt." - Max Lerner

-Goodnight :)

Summer :)

2009-03-09T21:53:00.000-07:00

Dear, summer its been WAYYYY TOO LONG!

It's eaxctly 13weeks in counting till I'm away from school and back to you!

Ahh, I promise to hit the beach just about everyday w/ Ryah!

OHBOY! Why can't you com a little bit faster?!

Lol summer time puts an absolute smile on my face no doubt about it!

Please come back to me.

P.S
Take me there! Yup that picture right there :)

2009-03-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

2009-03-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

Equality

You declare you see me dimly
through a glass which will not shine,
though I stand before you boldly,
trim in rank and making time.
You do own to hear me faintly
as a whisper out of range,
while my drums beat out the message
and the rhythms never change.
Equality, and I will be free.
Equality, and I will be free.

You announce my ways are wanton,
that I fly from man to man,
but if I'm just a shadow to you,
could you ever understand?
We have lived a painful history,
we know the shameful past,
but I keep on marching forward,
and you keep on coming last.
Equality, and I will be free.
Equality, and I will be free.

Take the blinders from your vision,
take the padding from your ears,
and confess you've heard me crying,
and admit you've seen my tears.
Hear the tempo so compelling,
hear the blood throb through my veins.
Yes, my drums are beating nightly,
and the rhythms never change.
Equality, and I will be free.
Equality, and I will be free. -Maya Angelou

2009-02-15T13:29:00.000-08:00

So, the love of my life is w/ me for the weekend.
You may ask me who that is? Well the "LOVE OF MY LIFE"
Is my niece Kailah she means everything to me and if you
say yer close to me you should know that (: I would fcking
Kill for her or die for her whatever the case may be!

Yeah, that's some hardcore love.
I stoped believing in "LOVE" a while ago.
But having my niece in my life has changed the
Way I look at things soo much!

So she is the biggest blessing in my life of
all times, Thank God For Kailah!

2009-02-09T16:52:00.001-08:00

2009-02-09T13:01:00.000-08:00

The story of my life is a very confusing one I dont know how I was brought into this very awkward situation. I really didn't ask for it but for some strange reason I feel like I'm going through these trials for a reason. The story of my life only a few people know because I don't trust too many people to give them the details on it. I'm not that open with my emotions, I rather not speak up on them. The story of my life I think will not have a ending until I'm 6ft under because something new is always going to happen until I'm not on the earth. A young girl searching for love and someone to share it with is the story of my life. I'm not one to complain but damn why can't things be better off. See I'm not the only one that has a story to tell I know too many other people like me, The story of my life I don't think "SHE" knows how big of a roll she plays in this story. She is the main character the deceiving one. Just as qucik as things seem like its goung to be a happy ending "SHE" drops the infamous bomb LIKE BOOM! And I'm left once agaon to fend for myself. I've been through more stuff then your average Jane think not... listen to the story of my life. You may sit and laugh and doubt me all you want but I am somebody and I'm going to bigger then you ever imagine because I'm that little girl waiting to hear the outcome at the end of the story. Does the prince save the princess from the evil witch and they end up getting married and living happily ever after?? Am I gonna find my night in shining armor are we gonna end up happily ever after? Is that the story of my life or do I have to recreate my own ending.... The world will never know the whole story of my life, or will they?! They story of my life...

I am

2009-02-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

I am Kia Tornell Jackson. A young African American and Belizean woman. I didn't ask for the color of my skin or my race. But I'm proud of it I will never be embarrased of who I am. Never underestimate me because I just might belittle you with my words I have been in many circumstances most people would just give up on everything they've ever been working for. But I am Kia Tornell Jackson a young African American and Belizean woman I am learning from my roots and I am going to be the best I can be. With out Martin Luther King Jr. marching for his rights and Rosa Parks sitting down for hers I wouldnt be standing up to be the person I am today. See I may not be that important to you now but your gonna see me in your future I am Kia Tornell Jackson nothing less but I can always be more. Never judge a book by its cover because that book might just prove you wrong. So when you see me and think I'm just another walking stereotype I bet to differ, You'll see me in you future and it won't be a negative aspect but a positive one because I am Kia Tornell Jackson.

2009-01-28T18:03:00.000-08:00

Its funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye. Its funny how forever never seems to last. Its funny how "FRIENDS" can just leave you when your down. Its funny how when you need someone they're never around. Its funny how people change and think they're so much better. Its funny how many lies can be packed into one love letter. Its funny how people forgive but they can;t forget. Its funny how one night can contain so much regret. Its funny how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of it all, is that NONE of that's funny to me.

:)

2009-01-25T11:07:00.000-08:00

"I can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare."

A Day In LA W/ Ryah,Saida,Keira,Aquan,&Lucian.

2009-01-19T19:57:00.000-08:00

January 18,2009.

I went to LA to go to the African American Museum, for extra credit for school. Which I ended up doing but this was the BEST day ever had too much fun. Day started of early w/ a text message at 7something in the morning from Aquan talking abt if were all still gna go to LA. So of course we are still gna go so layed up in the bed till 9:00 then called Ryah to make sure her and Saida got ready. At 9:00 I start getting ready for my day of ADVENTURES :) Anyway so I'm already and stuff Aquan gets to my house at abt 10:00 then we go to Ryah's and pick them up then we talk to her dad for like 10million HOURS while Aquan is waiting for us LMFAO! Then Aquan ask's if his friend Lucian can come along. And I say "HEY IDC YOUR DRIVING lol" So then we head ovr to Lucian's casa pick him up then we head to the DONUT SHOP by my old HIGH SCHOOL Birmingham, and he offers to buy us something but Ryah was the only one who wanted something. So after we stop there we head off to LA. Aquan has to be the craziest driver LMFAO I fear for my life when I'm in the car w/ him but I know everything is fine its just exciting lol. So the next stop is my sister's casa on Crenshaw and Washington we pick her up head to the African American Museum and we stay there for like a half hour lmfao when that was the main reason of going to LA. And we drop of my sister and we head to MELROSE! We stoped at this one store where they were having crazy sales but all I bought were earrings and Lucian tried on sunglasses lol he looked pretty cute but he didn't buy em'. Then we go to eat lunch at Johnny Rockets! me ryah and saida dnt get anything but the boys do... Then Lucian comes up w/ the bright idea of not paying for the food but I persuaded them to pay for it...BUT they went inside to pay and the peolple took too long to attend to them so they just walked out so they STILL didn't pay and GOT a FREE lunch on MELROSE @ Johnny Rockets lol. And we meet up w/ Rena and walk all along melrose looking for things to buy but we found some good prices but didn't buy too much. ;) Saw alot of gay people lol but most of all we had a great day. Then got droped off at my sister's casa and spent the rest of the weekend in LA w/ my familia for my niece Kailah's Birthday :)

I NEED you.

2009-01-15T16:53:00.000-08:00

And if I tell you every little detail about me you still wouldn't understand. You act like you care when you could give a FCK LESS about me, and the whole part thats killing me is the fact of you "ACTING LIKE YOU CARE." To tell you the honest if you just straight up tell me you DON'T LOVE OR CARE ABOUT ME, I will respect you as a person for telling me the truth because atleast yer telling me know and your not hurting me right?! See I'm not the type to WANT YOU TO FEEL SORRY FOR HER! I could do bad all by myself with or without you! But DEEP DOWN INSIDE I KNOW I'M GONNA NEED YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

1ST Day Back To Escuela.

2009-01-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

Today was the 1st day back to school, it wasn't as bad as i expected it to be I had FUN w/ my MAINS! They are the absolute BEST, wouldn't trade them for ANYTHING in this WORLD. Well MAYBE a $$$MILLION DOLLARS$$$ JUST KIDDING lol how could I trade them WTF! What's the point of having all that money when you have no friends you will be TRULEY UNHAPPY. But another note school was good getting back in the hang of doing work and all that good stuff (;. I can't believe how much closer I am to graduating I thank GOD everyday for getting me through my whole high school year so far. I'm very much looking forward to being a SENIOR! I'm hoping to make this the best year possible optimistic attitude all the way out!

-2010 anyone?! :)

Boy's get periods too!

2009-01-07T14:26:00.000-08:00

We thought that we were the only one's who got periods... Well we thought WRONG!
They get boys their periods and have mood swings WORSE then us females.
And yet they have the audacity to say their not "mad" there "upset".

I know there are people who feel the same way as me.
Girls with boyfriends of course who go through helll and back because og a nigga
and there fcking attitudes!

Point Blank Period boys are bigger bitches then us.

- and I'm OUT! :)

Faith leads to Trust leads to Love

2009-01-06T14:23:00.000-08:00

I've sed time and time again nvr underestimate me and people still do. But hey it's all apart of the human nature to UNDERESTIMATE others. FAITH is one thing that need to have in me or in someone else to go anywhere in life. Without FAITH there is no TRUST!

LEADS TO

Trust, I must admit I dont't trust too many people but that isn't my fault. Iv'e been in many situations for me not to trust people. Yes I have been hurt alot in my life but I'm not gna stay here and be bitter abt it. I say sht for a reason because I wanna make a change, Therefore I have in people that I can trust them.

LEADS TO

Love, is another very important factor you need faith and trust in order to love someone with out the two there is no point in saying the infamous word "I love YOU". When in actuallity you don't mean it if your not following the two above. Ha, like i said I dnt say sht just to say it you should really think about what you do before you do it.

Yes, I'm Belizean :)

2009-01-06T14:08:00.000-08:00

I'm BELIZEAN AND BLACK.

Yes I'm very proud of it!

I had GREAT experiences when I went in the summer of 07'.

I would go back in a heart beat, but i wouldn't live there because of the simple fact that i couldn't take all the people O care about w/ me!

I have the BIGGEST dream of going for my 18th birthday and having a partyyy!!!!

With that being said you should know I LOVE my culture :)

Random things I think about.

2009-01-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

Why do I sometimes just feel the urge to cry? And just pour out my heart and soul to someone nearest to me that I trust.

Why is California's weather so weird? It can be OVERLY hot within the matter of two seconds it randomly gets FREEZING!

Why are some people so ignorant and not sensitive to how they treat others?

Why can't everyone just get along?

Does everything really happen for a reason?

Does God intentionally let "BAD" situations take place in our lives?

Is there such a thing as "LOVE AT 1ST SIGHT"?

Why do we let certain people get the best of us?

Why am I so terrified of scary movies?

Why don't some people take advantage of the many opportunities they have?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? LMFAO

How old I'm gna live to be.

Why is Trevor Ariza so gorgeous?!

Yes, I really do think about this stuff sometimes but hey I'm HUMAN:)

Shaheda's Birthday 08'

2009-01-06T12:34:00.000-08:00

SWV, The Best!

2009-01-05T21:19:00.000-08:00

That's why he's mine!

2009-01-05T21:06:00.001-08:00

Mhmh ;)

2009-01-05T21:05:00.001-08:00

Greys Anatomy

2009-01-05T20:45:00.001-08:00

"At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standung is the reason enough to celebrate."

A day to remember!

2009-01-05T20:25:00.000-08:00

As the sun rises and sets.

2008-12-22T14:39:00.000-08:00

With every new sunrise.there is a new chance. But with every sunset, you blew it again.

2008-12-16T21:20:00.003-08:00